The Blueberry Pie Outrage

hullabaloo

Phones do funny things sometimes. Sometimes on ye olde landlyne you could pick up the ghost of a conversation you weren’t having, sometimes as bright and loud as the person you were actually talking to, sometimes just an echo of an echo.

Cellphones can act even weirder. Saturday I tried to dial up a friend and a few things happened. The first time I called, there was dead silence. Not even the sound of the phone making the call (later the guy on the other end told me that he had in fact answered and had wondered why I wasn’t talking). But the second time I called…oh my.

To my surprise my buddy didn’t pick up but rather an agitated woman’s voice boomed into my ear. She was really pissed. At first I thought someone was holding the phone up to the TV or something, but it soon dawned on me that in fact my call had been connected to another person entirely! I could say more, but I think it’s best if I just recreate the whole “conversation” verbatim:

*A phone dials*

Crazy Lady: HOW IS IT OK TO SPEND $30 ON A BLUEBERRY PIE?

Me: Stunned silence.

Crazy Lady: HELLO?!

Me: Continued silence.

Crazy Lady: AREN’T YOU GOING TO SAY ANYTHING?

Me: Covering the microphone so she can’t hear me giggle –

Crazy Lady: SO YOU THINK IT’S OK TO SPEND $30 ON A PIE.

Me: Prancing around because is the strangest funniest thing that’s happened to me in weeks.

Crazy Lady: NOW YOU’RE NOT TALKING?

Me: I ain’t saying nothing Crazy Lady!

Crazy Lady: FINE.

*Click*

Wow.

Previous
James Wright and Bill Callahan
Next
Poetry is…

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *